FRANK’S DATING SERVICE

Get Connecting While I’m Collecting!

Lonely? Horny? Looking for Love, or maybe just a Meal Ticket?  Of course you are!  Take it from me, suckling at the financial teat of a partner or spouse is most certainly preferable to having to actually find a job and work for a living.   Work, who wants to do that when you can Sit Back and Collect on the heart?  There are a lot of losers out there, but there’s good news:  There’s someone for everyone!  And I can help you find the love of your live… for the right price.

Years of Marketing and Research conducted by the Beans Institute of Ultimate Business have shown an upward trend of undesirable men and women around the nation and across the globe. The modern Dating Market is ripe with Fattys, Uglies and Dummies… all of which are as desperate as you.  Some of them are wealthy, have Savings Accounts or Platinum Cards, but even those who don’t fit into the Rich category are so desperate to be loved (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof) they’ll do almost anything… including working two or three full-time jobs!!!  They’ll support you; buy you nice things!  They’ll happily suffer through verbal abuse and mental manipulation.   They will even tolerate your nasty drug habits and occasional physical confrontation.  Put my decades of Ultimate Business experience to work for you.

Sure she’s Hideous to look at, but with her Rent-Free couch at your disposal, you’ll be able to sleep most days away in luxury and you won't have to look at her much!

Yes, he’s Morbidly Obese, however, that just means he is about ready to have a fatal heart attack.  Make sure your name is incorporated into his will before it’s too late!!!   **


Frank's Dating Service is easier than collecting a monthly welfare check!  I guarantee I can set you up on a date with a desperate man, woman or man-woman...so be sure to wear your best T shirt and leave your wallet at home!


There is a one time $300 Registration fee to set up and begin your on-line account with us.  A $69.99 monthly fee will be billed weekly for your account for continuing service.  Taxes and applicable fees and surcharges  apply.


My staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to satisfy your Dating Service needs and answer questions or update your profile for a nominal fee.


Call now before all the rich ones are taken!!!


""NOTE By using this Dating Service, you hereby agree that Frank N, Beans III is entitled to at least 75% of all inheritance money and assets bequeathed to you or your estate in the event of a death of  Dating Service partner.